Finally, an observant fan at Citizens Bank Park has spotted a Philly urban legend ? the "Dumpster Hippie" ? rummaging through its natural habitat. Even better, the good Samaritan had the presence of mind to capture the beast on film.
Even double better, the citizen gumshoe uploaded the evidence to the leading Philadelphia Phillies website. Thank the blog gods that The Fightins is back online.
There he is. He's not as blurry as Bigfoot. Not as shaggy as Sasquatch. He might be yuckier than the Yeti, though. Hey, that's not Jayson Werth wandering back home, is it?
OK, here's where you, the reader, come in:
We're going to have a haiku contest. To rewind the recollections of those who have forgotten from school, haiku are non-rhyming poems written in three lines; the first has five syllables, the second has seven and the third has five. Five-seven-five. No titles are required.
To help inspire you, The Stew is providing some haiku examples. Here's the first, written by Yahoo! Sports' own haiku maven, Jeff Passan:
Philadelphia (5)
Is putting a new spin on (7)
The classic: white trash (5)
Get it? Email your submission (one per person, please) to bigleaguestew@yahoo.com. The deadline is Monday, May 9 at 10 a.m. ET. Please also put them in the comments if you like, but we'll only judge what we get via email. We'll announce the winners on Tuesday.
As with the previous BLS Photoshop contest, we will award prizes! The one and only @meechone, lead curator of The Fightins, has agreed to generously provide an amusing T-shirt to the each of the top three haikus that our panel select. All entries will be judged on the basis of creativity, proper form and "LOL" factor. (But it's better if you make us "ROFLCOPTER.")
To help you compile your stanzas, be to sure to check out some pertinent data on the Dumpster Hippie provided by Chris Jones of the Fightins. Below, we've got pics of famous dudes who resemble Dumpster Hippie, along some of his preferred foodstuffs. We also have more staff haiku:
Big John Studd was thought to have died, but maybe he's patrolling the garbage cans of South Philly for half-eaten ballpark food. ... You'd think the Phillies would set up Greg Luzinski so he didn't have to go diving in the trash for dinner. (Though it might really be Bob James instead.) ... And rocker Greg Allman? Doesn't seem like his scene, either.
Anyway, on to our own poetry:
From 'Duk:
Tony Lukes cheesesteak
Schmitter, crab fries, ice cold beer
Here, have a new hat!
David Brown:
Hobo Luzinski
please stop looking through trash bins
for stale Tastykakes
Meech:
I don't know how I
got in here but somebody
threw out a hoagie
Rob Iracane:
Garbage can hippie!
Come out from hiding but I
hope you've got pants on
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