Bowls: There are a lot of them. As a public service, the Doc is here to rank each game according to five crucial criteria, with help from the patron saint of the game in question. Today: The Music City Bowl! Teams. North Carolina Tar Heels (7-5) vs. Tennessee Volunteers (6-6).
Particulars. Today, 6:40 p.m. ET on ESPN.
Favorite: North Carolina (–1)
Patron Saint: First-rate singer-songwriter Robbie Fulks, whose unambiguous, profane kiss-off to Nashville from the 1997 album "South Mouth" stands as one of the stiffest musical middle fingers ever extended toward a specific city.
• Locale. Eleven-year-old LP Field, née Adelphia Coliseum, is, well, it's a relatively generic pro stadium off the interstate. Not that there's anything wrong with that, necessarily, but the most distinguishing feature aside from "Kevin Dyson scored here" is the adjacent Cumberland River, separating the stadium from downtown.
• Tradition. It's hard to designate North Carolina a genuine favorite with a one-point spread, which is good news for the Tar Heels: Eight of the dozen Music City Bowls to date have been won by the underdog, three of them (Minnesota over Arkansas in 2002, Virginia over Minnesota in 2005 and Kentucky over Clemson in 2006) by teams that entered as at least a six-point favorite. The SEC rep, specifically, is just 2-5 in the games it was expected to win, and 4-7 overall, its worst record in any bowl with which it's currently affiliated.
• Swag. Solid value and variety here – an iPod shuffle with headphones and gift card, a Fossil watch, a backpack – but I have to admit, I would be very disappointed to look in my gift bag and discover that the "Majestic fleece" is this instead of this.
• Sponsors, trophies and other ambiance. A bowl game in Tennessee, featuring Tennessee? Organizers were expecting Vol fans to turn the city into "Knoxville West," and from the sound of Wednesday night's "Battle of the Bands," they got it:
I don't know if they award an actual winner for the musical "battle," but they definitely spend money.
• Dec. 17: New Mexico Bowl
• Dec. 18: Humanitarian Bowl
• Dec. 18: New Orleans Bowl
• Dec. 22: Maaco Bowl Las Vegas
• Dec. 23: Poinsettia Bowl
• Dec. 24: Hawaii Bowl
• Dec. 26: Little Caesars Bowl
• Dec. 27: Independence Bowl
• Dec. 28: Champs Sports Bowl
• Dec. 29: Texas Bowl
• Dec. 29: Alamo Bowl
• Dec. 30: Pinstripe Bowl
• This year's match-up. North Carolina's here with a winning record despite losing a dozen players in the preseason, three of whom (presumptive first-round picks Marvin Austin, Robert Quinn and Greg Little) were ultimately lost for the season. The Heels were able to hold it together well enough to fend off any significant upsets and score a November surprise of their own over Florida State to stay above .500. But the attrition on defense was evident – UNC declined from No. 1 in the ACC in total defense to No. 4, despite the wild preseason optimism – and they're likely looking forward to being done with this miserable season and get on with facing the music already on multiple fronts.
Tennessee, on the other hand, couldn't be happier to be here after a dreadful 2-6 start that was probably even worse than it sounds. The permanent shift to true freshman quarterback Tyler Bray in November coincided with a dramatic easing of the schedule, and resulted in a four-game win streak that put the Vols' youth movement front and center. If they can push it to five with a win over team that actually has a winning record, bar the door for the offseason hype.
• Star power. Fans are drooling over the potential of freshmen receivers Justin Hunter and Da'Rick Rogers, but no one benefited more from Bray's ascension as the starting quarterback than senior Denarius Moore, who broke out of obscurity with 25 catches for 655 yards and five touchdowns – one in every game – over the last five. Moore's 228-yard effort against South Carolina was the highest single-game receiving total against an SEC defense since 2001, and his 21.2-yard average for the year led the conference in yards per catch.
Final rating: out of five.
"By its own merits, tonight’s Music City Bowl is a mediocre bowl game between two teams nowhere near the nation's elite." I didn't write it, but basically, yeah.
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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.
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